What Happens if I Hate Therapy

Therapy can be a challenging aspect of life that we experience. Feeling like some sessions are too much is normal. However, if you ever feel like screaming the words “I hate therapy” it may be time to reassess.

There are many things that contribute to feeling that “I hate therapy” mood. We want to assess what the problem may be. In the following sections we will discuss what may be contributing to your difficulties with therapy.

I Feel Emotionally Drained After Therapy

Therapy often times can be glorified as an energizing hour we spend with our therapists in many settings. Maybe you have a friend who appears much happier and bubbly after therapy for a few days. Maybe you have read some things about how you should feel.

Seeing all of this and feeling emotionally drained after therapy may contribute to that “I hate therapy” mindset. Something I want you to remember is that being vulnerable takes energy. Also, not all therapy affects us the same.

For example, talk therapy about life transitions and stressors are going to cause a different level of psychological taxation than “bottom up” work, or body-based work. These types of therapies are focused on shifting your entire system much quicker than talk therapy.

What a Therapist Should NOT Do

Regardless of the type of therapy, underneath this all is the fact that doing psychological work is psychologically taxing. Psychological taxation will make you physically exhausted. This is especially the case when every session leaves you feeling this way.

Psychological fatigue and physical fatigue accumulate in your body together and have a “stacking” effect. It is important to practice good recovery habits, or self care.

Self care will help you recover from psychological and physical fatigue. Without proper recovery from this fatigue, you can grow to resent your therapist or therapy. Remember, fatigue can show up as lethargy, negative thoughts, exhaustion, and many other symptoms.

Be sure to get ahead of your fatigue accumulation from therapy with these techniques. Remember that it is normal to feel fatigued. We just don’t want you to burn out from therapy. Either way, a break may be warranted. Make a plan with your therapist.

i hate therapy

My Therapist Make Me Feel Worse

We have all had situations when our therapists say something that makes us feel worse. If this is a chronic phenomenon with your therapist, it may be the source of you feeling like “I hate therapy”.

Your Therapist is not a Good Fit

Often times we are not a good fit for our therapist. I have talked with many people about this. I have even experienced this, myself. It is important for you to like your therapist.

If they make you feel worse sometimes, this may be normal.

However, if your therapist consistently makes you feel worse, it may be time for a change. Maybe your therapist pushes you too much in counseling. They may say things that make you feel excessively uncomfortable.

Your Therapist is Unethical

I have also heard of therapists doing highly unethical things, such as having relationships with patients. Feeling that your boundaries are blurred with your therapist is never okay. If you feel this, it should be addressed immediately.

Red flags can always pop up in therapy. It is important to address these therapist red flags as they appear in this article. Knowing what to look for may help explain why the “I hate therapy” feeling continues to ensue.

If your therapist has demonstrated these red flags, you may want to change therapists. This is a difficult task for many, especially if it is because your therapist has poor boundaries.

There are a plethora of ways to address this. Feel free to read this article on what to do about therapists with poor boundaries. I write about concrete ways to manage swapping therapists depending on your confidence and reason for changing therapists.

All of this to say, you may be associating the psychological fatigue of therapy with your therapist. This is normal. It might be time to talk to your therapist about a break from therapy.

If talking to your therapist feels overwhelming, feel free to use techniques I mentioned in the previous article. Recovering is the most important aspect for you in therapy. If it is draining you, actions should be taken to address it.

Therapy is Expensive

Maybe you have thought about the previous issues we covered. The expense of therapy may be what is contributing to that “I hate therapy” feeling.

Therapy is Expensive-Insurance

Let’s be honest: with or without insurance therapy can be expensive. Expenses, like fatigue, can pile up and cause us psychological stress. If you have other stressors going on in addition to therapy, this can cause more stress.

There should be an entire section about insurance companies in this article. I want to do my best to behave, so I’ll leave it at this. When insurance denies a claim and you get hit with a massive bill, it can cause you to resent therapy-even your therapist.

therapy is expensive

Insurance coverage is often highly particular when it comes to mental health. Rigid guidelines make it more difficult for a therapist to meet your needs. With that denial and the bill following, it can be highly debilitating to think about going back to therapy.

Therapy is Expensive-Cash Pay

Cash pay therapists are an option if you want to bypass insurance restrictions. If you go cash pay, most highly trained therapists tend to cost more. This build up may cause resentment, as well. So it will be important to weigh the pros and cons of paying more for therapy.

You may feel like you’re paying too much. Cash pay gives you more freedom with your treatment. However, it is significantly more expensive out of your pocket. Talk to your therapist about a good faith estimate. This may help you manage the expense of out of pocket therapy.

If none of these financial solutions work, consider taking a break. You can also look at how often you attend therapy. Is the amount you go necessary for your goals? Could you save money by cutting back a bit? Assess with your therapist if your cost and frequency are appropriate for your goals.

Conclusion

No matter why you may say “I hate therapy”, there are always things to consider when therapy feels like it isn’t helping. Remember to assess your psychological fatigue. Is it too much for you? Are you and your therapist working to manage your fatigue long term? This is an important first step.

If fatigue is not the problem, ask yourself about your therapist. Are they giving you what you need? Do you feel uncomfortable around them? Are you beginning to foster resentment toward them? These feelings going on unaddressed will make therapy much more difficult to manage.

Are you financially burned out? Consider looking at your budget and deciding if therapy is in the cards for you. Perhaps you should switch from cash pay to insurance. Maybe it is actually cost effective to go the other way.

If finances are your issue, feel free to bring it up! Your therapist is also trained to help you manage your emotions around your finances. It may be time to cut back the frequency of therapy.

No matter the issue that’s causing the “I hate therapy” mood, know that there is a solution. Also know that you aren’t alone! I have talked to many people who have had that same “I hate therapy” reaction when I begin working with them.

Mental health is so important. The last thing we therapists want for you is to feel like you have nowhere to go to address it. If one isn’t working out, keep your head up. Others of us are here to help!

If you are struggling with any of this articles topics feel free to let me know using my contact form. I look forward to discussing your questions!

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